About a month ago, I made a life altering decision. While on paper it sounds petty, simple and mundane—it was quite the opposite in all actuality. In an effort to decrease stress and create an opportunity to spend time with my family, I became disconnected. I have closed my personal social media accounts (Facebook, Google+, etc). I have not blogged, nor have participated in any major online activity—this includes checking my personal email. While at the time, I was honestly attempting to isolate myself due to many personal and family issues. I have since realized this decision was surprisingly life changing.
My life of cyber detachment all began after a trip to the doctor’s office to discuss the onset of migraine headaches. While I joked regularly about my headaches with my husband, making comments about my personal diagnosis and impending death, I truly did not think these were related to anything substantial. I figured it was stress. I am a fulltime student, who works fulltime and often volunteers part-time—this along with my many other roles in life, I expect to be stressed occasionally. When I started experiencing headaches, I did not think much about them. That was until other symptoms occurred with these headaches.
As I lay in bed one evening, experiencing a headache, my husband kissed my forehead. With a surprised look, he informed me that I was burning up. This occurred on more than one occasion—before I knew it every headache was accompanied by a fever. I finally went into the doctors. It was here I was informed they were going to run every possible test and send me in for an MRI and later a CT scan. I was informed at the time that they were checking for bleeding and/or tumors. While this was stressful and a bit scary, I was pleased that my physicians were taking my headaches seriously and ruling out all possibilities.
After all the tests were complete, I was cleared of any major issues. However, I must endure a few more tests and manage the outcome which has been a complete mixture of ailments—the perfect storm so to speak. While the outcome was a huge relief, the entire process made me want to change certain aspects of my life, especially as the impending couple of weeks led to numerous other stressful events.
Within a short period of time my husband was rear ended, my youngest daughter became very ill (she does not have health insurance either), there was a loss in my life and we had to endure a huge financial setback from another issue. With a life in chaos, I just began to close all the doors to a cyber existence which no longer seemed to reflect any reality or provide any solace.
I started with shutting down my Facebook page. Within a week, I was surprised at the amount of time which this created and the lack of stress which I endured from not being “connected.” I found all of the people in my life that mattered (loved ones, friends, etc), were quick to make contact with me or vice versa. Then I slowly shut down all of my other accounts. I said goodbye to Flickr, Pintrest, Skype, Yelp, Blogger, Stumble Upon, LinkedIn, and Tumblr. I deleted a majority of my online subscriptions, which included Groupon, Seattle Weekly Coupons, and Living Social. None of this was easy, but it was completely freeing.
Now that the initial shock and withdrawals have subsided, I am content with this new life which involves reading books (not just textbooks), hanging out with my family or friends, and most of all being able to participate in artistic activities again. In looking back I could not believe how much of my life was being dictated by social media. In my virtual world life was peachy keen. Yet reality told a different story. Not only was I spending roughly 4-6 hours a day on some social media site, I would do so to my own detriment. Getting behind on school work or being completely distracted with Facebook while being engaged in some other activity, or worse staying connected while trying to actually socialize (with real people). In the end it was exhausting and completely unfulfilling.
While I have come back into the cyber-blog world, I have opted to stay away from other areas of social media. No more personal Facebook pages and Google+ accounts, or the likes. No more hanging out on my email all day and being available for IM chats. At one point I went as far as to say I wanted to cancel my cell phone and stick to chatting on landlines, but my husband nicely informed me that this was the line. I agree with the latter.
While I am thrilled to be blogging again, I am more excited with the numerous opportunities my disconnected lifestyle has provided.
10/29/2012 at 5:37 pm
It is really difficult to know where to draw that line in the sand between artistry, communication and complete time-wasting and soul-sucking social media. Yours is a cautionary tale and a nice reminder – thanks for sharing!
10/31/2012 at 2:34 pm
Thank you for your comments. I am still in awe of how much time I have wasted in being connected. One lesson I have learned is that there is a line. With my new found boundaries I hope to have more opportunity to create and live life—instead of consuming everyone else’s.
11/01/2012 at 12:46 am
Social-media in itself is not a bad thing. The “bad” is how we as people wield such instruments. Checking out various blogs on wordpress (I’m new to the club), I’ve discovered many thoughtful, meaningful blogs/posts and I enjoyed reading them.
Devices such as face-book and twitter have the potential to be serious platforms for the exchange of ideas/make real conversation, but the appropriate community never developed and thus face-book, twitter and the like are what they are today.
Determining whether something is “complete time-wasting and soul-sucking social media” (aptly put) has to be determined on a case-by-case scenario. My advice: look at the community, and look at what they do. Are they more interested in talking, or posturing?
10/30/2012 at 12:57 am
How I admire your courage!!! I have lots of reasons for wanting to stay connected, but I’m sure most of them are excuses… I’m trying to stay aware of it and at least create opportunities to do other things. But I’m not as brave as you in cancelling all!!
10/31/2012 at 3:01 pm
It was extremely difficult. I actually started the process months prior. I went through and made all of my accounts private, I deleted tons of people in an effort to minimize the chaos, and I would try not to get online unless I absolutely needed too. Eventually this was still overwhelming. The hardest part was leaving Facebook and not having contact with those people close to me. It has made for much more exciting conversations when I get together with others because I know nothing about what has happened in their life (hehehe).
11/01/2012 at 3:12 am
That makes so much sense.. I fear losing my connection with people I know only through such media but who are true and kindred spirits… But paring down I think is a wise idea
10/30/2012 at 9:36 am
Welcome to the *I’ve-deleted-my-Facebook-Account Club*. I deleted my acct 4 months ago without regret. I also set a rule that on the weekends I must disconnect from everything. I have to say, my mental health has benefited from this new mandate.
That aside, I am sorry to read you have been going through a rough time. I hope everything is on the upswing.
10/31/2012 at 9:08 pm
I have also implemented the rule of no excess computer time on the weekends. I would lock the thing up completely, since I spend so much time online on the weekdays, but with school I am somewhat forced to be online Saturdays and Sundays. I do however get most of my work done in the mornings as opposed to not leaving the dining room table until 6 pm.
Things have been going great! Everything always seems to hit at once, but so many lessons were learned–so I cant complain.
11/01/2012 at 5:09 am
Hey there!
It truly is difficult to disconnect — I feel your pain. I’ve been looking into going back to school to take some classes — not for a degree, just pursuing some subject that If ind of interest (mainly psychology). I have yet to commit because, like you, I’m on line 5 days week. If I enroll, I’ll be on line 7 days week.
Like you, everything hit me at once (in 2010). Since then, I try, as much as possible, to put myself first. Not in a selfish way, rather, I am more mindful of how I feel and if something is making me feel frustrated, then i step back and ask myself why I am doing whatever it is that is making me feel a certain way. Not sure if I am explaining this well. Putting myself first is easy for me to do because I do not have children (just cats!). I will say, overall, it is difficult for women to put ourselves — it is built into our DNA to take care of everyone else, putting our needs on the back burner.
Lastly, learning from our experiences is the only way to move past them. I’m glad things are better for you. I love your blog — you are a brilliant writer. Keep the posts coming as I do enjoy them.
P.s. how are those pens for women working out for you? Ha-Ha!
10/30/2012 at 4:15 pm
One doesn’t realize the amount of time wasted on social media activities! And its fruitless too.
loved the post!
10/31/2012 at 9:08 pm
Thank you.
10/30/2012 at 4:27 pm
I enjoyed reading this post! I’ve been thinking about writing about how I, too, am detaching from social media and other things consuming my life. I deleted my facebook account about 6 months ago, got rid of cable about 8 months ago, and just left my iPhone for a dumb phone…it’s quite freeing!
10/31/2012 at 9:21 pm
You should definitely write on the experience. One thing this has taught me is that I am not alone. I have to say I felt somewhat foolish when I wrote this post. The response has shown me that there are many others who feel the same way.
I too quite cable, many years ago, and I am so happy that I did. Good luck and congrats.
10/30/2012 at 4:28 pm
I too have closed the doors on everything except blogging and the occasional Tweet. Life is pretty damn sweet out there!!
Congrats on being FP!!
10/31/2012 at 9:30 pm
Thank you. Life is amazing. I am happy to have lifted my head out of my computer to enjoy it.
10/30/2012 at 4:38 pm
I could never “disconnect!” Great post!
10/31/2012 at 9:33 pm
Never say never. I say try it…..even if only for a week. Life might just surprise you. = )
Thank you.
10/30/2012 at 5:02 pm
Sometimes I want so badly to do this. But other times – the majority of times – thinking about it causes me to panic and be even more clingy to my social networks! Good for you for doing it and sticking with it! Do you have a smart phone? I think it would be so much harder to accomplish this if you have a phone that is also connected!
10/31/2012 at 9:50 pm
I do have a smart phone and it was extremely difficult. I think I deleted and re-downloaded apps like FB, Get Glue and others many times. Now my phone is free of everything but WordPress and Facebook Page’s (I kept my blog page). There are still times where I want so badly to log back into my Facebook….just to see.
I definitely miss the socializing and being invited to social events. However, I am loving getting to actually spend time with people who I really enjoy and who really care about me.
10/30/2012 at 5:04 pm
lol that slideshow makes me giggle
10/31/2012 at 9:54 pm
= )
10/30/2012 at 5:05 pm
I recently wrote a post about how technologically connected the world is…. and how sadly disconnected we all are as a result. In fact, I saw the results of a national survey that showed overwhelmingly that people would choose to check their social media accounts over having sex with their partner…. ABSURD!
I have no accounts other than an email account and blogs… I prefer three dimensional relationships.
Good for you.
10/31/2012 at 10:10 pm
WOW. I was not that far gone. I definitely know people who would probably fit into that category though. I am also all for three dimensional relationships–I thought it was amazing that my 200+ Facebook all knew me and we all occasionally got together. I quickly discovered that these relationships were completely superficial. Many of them ended when I tuned out. I cannot complain and I am happy to have found peace within those real relationships.
Glad to see someone else has had such a positive experience with the whole process!!
10/30/2012 at 5:16 pm
Hope all is going well for you and glad you are blogging again!
10/31/2012 at 10:11 pm
Thank you. All is going great!
10/30/2012 at 5:18 pm
Loved the slide show and loved the post. I hope that your life has only gotten better since the perfect storm hit you. I have refused to be on any social site besides my blog and facebook, and, to be completely honest, I might check my facebook page once a month. I have so many other things to do and have seen so many friends get sucked in so far that they can’t go anywhere without their smartphone for that instant fix. Congrats on being freshly pressed!
10/31/2012 at 10:17 pm
Thank you.
10/30/2012 at 5:23 pm
I love what you wrote “With a life in chaos, I just began to close all the doors to a cyber existence which no longer seemed to reflect any reality or provide any solace.” I deleted my facebook and my blog after I realize how little do I want to know about other people’s lives and vice versa. I am going a tough time at home and it doesn’t help to read status that say things like “oh i love my husband because he is such and such” or other lovey dovey posts. I guess when my life sucks, it’s hard for me to be happy for others. so i pulled the plug and feel calmer while I slowly try to get back on the virtual world (just started a new blog).
10/31/2012 at 11:14 pm
I am the same way. It is tough to see everyone’s “positive” cyber lives when life is in chaos. The cyber life has always been an interesting thing for me. I know so many people whose lives look amazing in cyber-world, but in reality it is truly a mess. I think it is great that you are being real. I hope life works out for the best and I am happy to hear you are back to blogging.
11/01/2012 at 6:50 pm
Thanks for writing back. U just made my day! (it doesn’t take much these days!)
Have a great day..saw on the news about the storm. Take care!
10/30/2012 at 5:33 pm
Glad you are blogging if this is an example of your work. I look forward to following you. Hope you and your family do well.
10/31/2012 at 11:19 pm
Thank you. My family and I are doing great. I am glad you enjoyed the post.
10/30/2012 at 5:40 pm
Congrats! I did the same thing back in December. I left my Flickr up because I use it to get my work out there but deleted everything else. I’ve had mixed results as far as keeping in touch with people, as I have lots of old army buddies I don’t talk to anymore, but I realize those people I don’t communicate with anymore aren’t really worth the time. Overall, I’m enjoying life a lot more than I was a year ago and I haven’t looked back.
10/31/2012 at 11:57 pm
That is great!! I too have had issues as it relates to keeping in touch with people. What I do enjoy is the relationships which I have been able to recreate with those who truly wanted to be in my life.
Congrats! Can’t wait to check out your work.
10/30/2012 at 5:51 pm
There is an almost cult mentality in the cyber world about being “one of us” or breaking free. It’s a hard choice to make because even when you reestablish those connections with people outside of facebook you worry about what you are still missing out on. Esp. if you’ve been on facebook for years and are use to being told about every little move your friends make. Congrats to you. In some ways I think it’s as liberating as leaving an abusive relationship.
11/01/2012 at 12:04 am
The whole cult thing is definitely true…I feel like I have the whole Matrix red pill/blue pill thing.
10/30/2012 at 5:57 pm
Thank-you for sharing. You have brought up many nagging thoughts most of who use social media are plagued by. I am conflicted since FB landed me a book writing deal and my current freelance job. Hmmm . . . much to ponder, though.
10/30/2012 at 6:03 pm
Love the post. I did the same at one point when I had to concentrate on my book and it was great! Thanks for sharing
10/30/2012 at 6:16 pm
Loved this. I still have my personal Facebook, but it has no information and I don’t look at it often and do not post. I rarely look at any of my “friends” pages. Though I was never a facebook person, making the decision to not become one was quite freeing. I do wonder whether I’m shooting myself in the foot since I can’t promote my blog or any other writings on Facebook but I’ll live. I like Twitter because it’s short and I’ve connected with people outside my real life circle. I never started Google + . I need to find a balance between blogging and other writing. Actually, it was the super sweet happiness on Facebook that was getting me down and it helped not to look at it. I also needed to disconnect from a past life before I could start a new one. Good luck.
11/01/2012 at 12:31 am
Thank you. I was the typical Facebook person–seriously the one who took pictures of their food for everyone to envy (lol). I never really got into Twitter, while I have an account it is mainly tied to my blog page. I did not cancel my blog Facebook page. This was a struggle because I had to have an FB page in order to keep my blog one open. I found a way around it and it works.
I definitely enjoy the disconnect, but I do miss having access to the whens and wheres of activities as it relates to arts, music, etc. I wont let this be an excuse for turning it all back on again.
10/30/2012 at 6:24 pm
Good idea to occasionally draw back from things, even if you later return to them. A bit like fasting. Or detoxing. It’s good for you. Makes room for other things – and people – not least yourself.
11/03/2012 at 5:44 pm
Thank you!
10/30/2012 at 6:32 pm
I’m glad this article came when it did. I am currently traveling on a year long trip to take a break away from the hustle and bustle of the American lifestyle. My girlfriend and I started backpacking from Mexico and are headed south eventually to Rio in Brazil. While the detachment from the real world is a breath of fresh air I have been noticing that when and where there is internet available it tends to grab a hold of us like a bad cold. Hours get wasted away uploading photos, peering into the broadcasted lives of others, and keeping up with friends and family in the cyber realm. What is ironic is that sometimes we choose to stay in and catch up rather than enjoying what is around us in this unique time of our lives where we actually have zero obligations! Crazy. I’m going to take a few pointers from this article and tone it down a bit, while trying to keep up my travel blog as well (oxymoron, I know). Congratulations on being freshly pressed, and enjoy your new found freedom!
11/01/2012 at 12:44 am
Thank you!! I cannot wait to follow your blog. My husband and I have discussed getting out of here in the next year or so, we have to prep the house for renting. We plan to head to Rio or Sao Paulo—I have the opportunity to work there. I have never lived outside of Washington State, nor have I traveled much but it is my dream to explore the world.
Good luck to both you and your girlfriend.
10/30/2012 at 6:33 pm
Great post Angela! I admit I’ve sidelined important things for social media, and like you I’m a full time employee, full time grad student and volunteer (if?) when there’s time. As a rule, for the past 3 years, I’ve completely gone cold-turkey on all media when I’m on vacation. I thought it’d be tough the first time, but I can’t remember feeling so at pease as I did when I was disconnected!
I’ve limited myself from social media, too and it is so much better this way. So happy to hear you’re enjoying the ‘space’ from the online world. Congrats on disconnecting, and on Freshly Pressed
11/01/2012 at 12:53 am
Thank you!! I have been thinking about doing one of those silent retreats. I have someone who recently did one and it sounds like an amazing opportunity to complete disconnect. I love the idea of no media on vacation……good rule to implement with the family.
10/30/2012 at 6:35 pm
Somedays oh how I wish I could do it… but I work from home and I fear the total isolation would result in me reenacting scenes from The Shining. Ugh. Best of luck to you!
10/30/2012 at 6:38 pm
I’m way behind on this electonic communication, never had facebook, never twittered. But that’s just my age showing. Being a bit of a compulsive type I’m sure I’d be hooked too if I got connected. Congratulations on joining the few. And congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
11/01/2012 at 12:54 am
Thank you!
10/30/2012 at 6:47 pm
i divorced my facebook Sunday and Im happy about it. your article has made me wonder if this was cause of my headaches. time will tell.
11/02/2012 at 11:43 am
I was amazed….when I was looking for pictures to add to my posts, I came across numerous studies discussing the stress caused by social media. It was actually quite interesting. I definitely think it was one of my triggers.
11/02/2012 at 6:58 pm
its been less than a week and i feel relieved and refreshed.i look forward to more of your posts and more of me opening up and posting better because im open
10/30/2012 at 6:55 pm
Great post!
11/02/2012 at 11:43 am
Thanks.
10/30/2012 at 7:38 pm
I often take little breaks and such away from my computer to take time out for me. It’s crazy when you realize just how much online social media, games and otherwise can completely take over your life. When I see that they do this – I start to disconnect myself as well. I like having free-time but the drawback is, I don’t always -know- what to do with that free-time. lol Good on you though.
11/02/2012 at 11:50 am
Hehehe…that has been me. I am now finding I have so much free time. I went and raided all of my local thrift shops about a week ago and purchased books for the first time in a few years. I love reading but often find myself consumed with college textbooks. With all these freedom, I can now read all those books on my to-read lists.
I think it is great that you have the ability to set boundaries. I am a (self-diagnosed) OCD-mild. I found myself obsessed with looking at all of the new posts on my pages or I had to comment on everyone’s pictures. It would drive me crazy not too. This took forever, as I had 200+ (so-called) friends. Even though I knew it was insane to do this, I could not stop without completely disconnecting.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
10/30/2012 at 8:39 pm
I deactivated my FB and realized how much constructive work gets done.
11/02/2012 at 11:50 am
= )
10/30/2012 at 8:41 pm
I understand why you would want to get away from it all. I have, on many occasions thought about doing the same thing. And like many, I make excuses for not doing so. I’m glad I found your blog. I look forward to reading more. You do have a talent for the written word.
11/02/2012 at 11:52 am
Thank you. I look forward to having an opportunity to write so much more now.
10/30/2012 at 10:02 pm
I loved LISTVERSE by
J Frater but it’s down now:-( Temporarily, i hope?:-)
10/30/2012 at 10:53 pm
Congratulations on getting your life back!
11/02/2012 at 11:53 am
Thank you.
10/30/2012 at 11:02 pm
This is inspiring, really. I, too, have deactivated my Facebook a long time ago (and I don’t actually miss it). I do have Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, GoodReads, and Tumblr, but I spend most of my time drafting a post. Lately, I’ve noticed that I seldom (to none at all in a day or two) tweet which I find liberating. The one thing I want to have more time for is reading.
Anyway, congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
11/02/2012 at 11:59 am
Thank you. I was a Facebook addict. I dabbled in other forms of social media, but none ever captured me as much as Facebook. I still have my Twitter acct open, but that is only because it is connected to my blog. I do not think I have actually tweeted, I have it set up to automatically tweet certain things from other accounts. I do still have my GoodReads account. While this is a form of social media, it is also an amazing tool–like mapmyrun. That is the only one I use anymore.
Since my defeating my addiction, I actually went out and raided all of the thrift stores for books. I have added about 30+ to my collection and have had time to read a few already. It is refreshing.
Thanks for sharing……you should find me on GoodReads.
11/04/2012 at 1:37 am
I shall find you on GoodReads!
10/30/2012 at 11:04 pm
Support to you and your family and your 2nd Freshly Pressed
). Progress is good but it gets distorted from time to time, and if you adapt it to yourself, it means your are being responsible to yourself.
I was at a conference yesterday, 50 business people all holding minimum 1 telephone, constantly checking them, replying to very important and urgent e-mails, constantly walking out of the meeting room to answer one telephone call that will save company millions and millions of money… yeah, right. Nobody was listening to anything that was said, and nobody these days dares to look somebody in the eye. Them smartphones are the ultimate excuse for non-communication; for the sake of Mrs Irony I should probably say that I am typing this on a smartphone, but I did not take flash it around during yesterday’s conference. That’s my policy – moderation moderation moderation. Only 1 e-mail account (ok, 2, but the other one is just for internet related stuff) and only WordPress (ok, linkedin as well, that’s for like job and stuff
11/02/2012 at 12:22 pm
Thank you for sharing this experience. I love what you said about adapting technology to yourself, instead of allowing technology to change you. I never thought of it in these terms, but it is so true. It reminds me of a quote from Fight Club (the book), “The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything” (Chuck Palahniuk). The intangible cyber world is one of those things that can own you, but I do not think many people think about it in those terms. We embrace it as being connected, social, and in touch with the world. Yet, experiences such as the one you discussed are occurring more frequently.
I have been out with friends who cannot put their phones down and enjoy the people sitting right in front of them. Recently I was touching base with someone who was irritated that they could tag me in a photo. It is amazing how freeing this experience has been….now that I have brought it up; I think I might revisit Fight Club.
11/03/2012 at 12:01 am
…and I might dare to read Fight Club finally; excellent writer
be good
10/30/2012 at 11:11 pm
Just too awesome.
I’m one of those cyber addicted people!
10/31/2012 at 12:10 am
Personally, I think the problem is not the technology, but the way we use it. I have a Facebook page; it functions so that I can contact people when I want to, and when they need to get in touch with me. I don’t pay much attention to it otherwise.
I would never do without my iPhone – my professional resources are on it, meaning that I don’t have to carry books, papers, diary, calculator, and phone. Just phone.
My email is not just for contacting personal friends; professional organisations keep in touch, and I save time by subscribing to news services that give me the latest in my professional area so I can keep up to date without having to spend hours trawling the internet.
Cutting yourself off from the benefits technology can offer is only valid if you are the kind of person who cannot keep it under control – like the alcoholic who knows that one drink will always arrive in half a dozen glasses; better to be safe and abstain completely. Otherwise, aren’t you cutting off your nose to spite your face?
Don’t turn your back on technology and social media; they can save you so much time and effort. But technology should be your slave, not your master.
Absolutely fantastic slide-show!
11/02/2012 at 1:25 pm
I definitely agree with you. I have not cut off all technology, although I thought about it. It definitely comes in handy for certain areas of my life. I kept those accounts that my blog is attached too (Twitter & Facebook). I hope to create a professional cyber persona as opposed to simply personal ones. My future will require the use of numerous forms of technology, especially as I delve into the nonprofit world. At this time, I have to minimize my exposure as much as possible—as my time has become too precious to waste on the things that will not aid my growth.
Thanks for the comment.
11/03/2012 at 7:23 am
If it’s useful, then you’re using it well, and if you’ve got to use it in future, you can’t afford to be afraid of it – you’ve got to teach it who’s boss! I did a post on my blog with tips on finding balance and keeping communications technology under control (here: http://theophaniaelliott.wordpress.com/2012/11/01/master-and-servant/ ); feel free to look at it, or not. After all, time is too precious to spend looking at blogs you’re not that interested in!
Congratulations on breaking free of techno-tyranny and finding balance.
10/31/2012 at 12:45 am
i tried doing this, but it didn’t work for me. am happy that it worked for you though
11/02/2012 at 1:28 pm
Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 1:10 am
Technology so easily becomes the master, just as anything can rise up and rule – social media, cigarettes, chocolate. Even networking can be addictive too – can’t bear to let a possible contact pass cause you don’t know what you might miss out in the future. Thankfully, the buzz from exercise is also addictive. But here’s the important bit – if we split our attention too broadly too quickly too often, our brain will decline. Try some internet searches on the importance of sustained attention and superagers. I dont’ know if it will help, but I found this a great story on how we really don’t cope with information overload … http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/3613311.htm
All the best for the future.
11/02/2012 at 1:45 pm
Thank you for sharing the link and suggestions.
10/31/2012 at 1:49 am
Thanks and congrats for your post! You helped me with this thing “detaching”. I got a lot of regrets when I started to abuse my time on many social networking sites, while my grades were getting left behind. It’s been a while when I read a post from freshly pressed that made an immense impact to me. God bless to you and your family!
11/02/2012 at 2:17 pm
Thank you. I am glad the post was able to provide you with support in your decision. It can be tough juggling multiple roles and social media seems to fill in the void when you feel like you are missing out or become isolated by certain roles. As an online-student the latter can be the most difficult, at least for me. I felt connected via social media, but in reality this was not the case at all. When I reached out to my “friends” to get together for some activity, I was often met with one of two options: 1) meet them on their terms or 2) they were never available. It became frustrating and stressful to have to keep up with everyone in order to remain socially connected. In the end, I was more isolated than before trying to maintain something that was not real to began with—I have found peace with the entire experience. As the saying goes when one door closes another one opens.
10/31/2012 at 2:04 am
I’ve tried disconnecting from Facebook 3 times this year. It’s so hard to know where to draw that line with social media. I actually blog professionally now, and although I’m thankful to be able to work from home around my family, I wonder what it would be worth to have the peace of not being connected.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, and for diagnosing the headache I’ve had for about 2 months.
11/02/2012 at 2:38 pm
Hehehe….well I am glad I was able to help. Congrats on accomplishing the fulltime blog status. I started mine on a professor’s recommendation to “practice” and enhance my writing skills. I have to say it has been an amazing adventure and provided numerous opportunities for growth. Well thanks again and I look forward to reading your blog—I am already loving the post on “house porn.”
10/31/2012 at 3:02 am
Great post! Congrats on being FP and welcome back!
11/02/2012 at 2:39 pm
Thank you!!
11/02/2012 at 3:13 pm
You’re welcome! Great blog you’ve got here!
10/31/2012 at 3:39 am
Isn’t it totally refreshing? While I haven’t given up my Facebook and Twitter, I have tried something similar. A few months ago, I told myself I wasn’t going to be checking my Facebook or Twitter for two weeks. At first, it was difficult, but after a day or two, I found myself enjoying life more, being more active, spending more time with the ones I loved. It truly makes a huge difference.
11/02/2012 at 2:51 pm
It is completely refreshing! I love the time and freedom. Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 3:45 am
I deleted my myspace years ago and for a while my facebook, but I recently reactivated it. I don’t really go on it much these days as rarely anything exciting happens on there, unless you find a friend saying they stubbed their toe exciting (clearly it is not). I turned my notifications off on my phone as I was sick and tired of it bleeping at me every time someone tweeted me etc. So I have limited my time but not completely disconnected.
Great post and congrats on Freshly Pressed
11/02/2012 at 2:52 pm
Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 4:08 am
I am a bit like you but while I do have facebook and linked-in I don’t really use them other than ask my friend in NZ if she has time to chat or promote my work (free-lancers need to) but i agree the www is a time-sucking-blackhole and I may just chop FB too
11/02/2012 at 2:56 pm
If I was using it for the purpose of networking or marketing, I think that would be a different story. It was all superficial and personal. Somehow I got it in my head that this was more important than my creative outlets and actually pursuing my passions (writing, college, etc). I am still connected through my blog—via Facebook and Twitter. I have cut off everything else. That was where freedom really began. In your line of work, social media is a necessity and can be the door to an amazing future. Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 4:18 am
You go girl!!! Love your post. I try to keep my a handle on my social media addictions…but it is hard to do. Congrats on Freshly Pressed
11/02/2012 at 2:56 pm
Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 4:48 am
Your Post really touch me..I was once an athletic and outgoing Guy in College..until I hooked up and Get addicted to Social Media.The Internet especially Facebook is like Drugs to me..that even holidays for me is mostly enjoying online..until i realize that how much i wasted my time & energy instead of outdoor activities that is more productive..Now i’m over with it, I closed my facebook, Google +, Tagged and the like..Now mostly i do online is work related like e-mail, some twitter and occasional WordPress.
11/02/2012 at 3:02 pm
That is awesome! Congrats on getting your life back and creating boundaries. It can be difficult, I found myself perusing facebook while doing cardio or when I was on a date with my husband. I would suggest spending time with people and then constantly check-in or worse—take pictures of everything. At some point this became my life and soon I was on the couch in pajamas all day—on facebook or Tumblr or whatever. Then I would flip out mid-afternoon when I realized I did not get any homework done and I would have to spend the rest of the evening doing work, meanwhile my family had not time with me. There was no balance and no purpose. I think that is where I have drawn the line and created boundaries.
Again congrats, I know how hard it can be to separate.
10/31/2012 at 5:00 am
You’re making me think about my own social media habits. I wonder how much more I could accomplish if I just eliminated them from my daily life. Maybe I will just start slow and say no Facebook before 5:00pm. Baby steps ya know.
11/04/2012 at 9:14 pm
Great idea and good luck….thank you.
10/31/2012 at 5:06 am
I really wish I had the nerve to completely disconnect like that – I’m really worried about how many people I’d lose touch with :/ And all the photos I have on facebook .etc. It seems so difficult to actually do it!
11/04/2012 at 9:17 pm
I did save all my photos before making the move. I ended up losing touch with a majority of people, but at the end of the day those who were a big part of my life have stayed a big part of my life…..and those who were not have disappeared and left me with more time to spend with those I love. It is still very hard nonetheless.
11/05/2012 at 3:12 am
I might try deactivating my facebook for a while to start with – thanks for the advice
10/31/2012 at 5:38 am
I loved reading this. I got rid of my iPhone a few months ago and have felt so free without a phone. I admire how you cut the metaphorical cord on social media, as I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Great post!
Best, e.v.
11/04/2012 at 9:19 pm
Thank you…..my iPhone would be difficult. I use it for music and love the tracking apps, like mapmyrun, etc. Out of everything, it is my iPhone that I could never live without. lol
10/31/2012 at 5:53 am
What a great story–I’ve been struck by the staggering number of lost hours in my productive life since I really got myself online as my older kids went to university. The many things I used to get a kick out of accomplishing in a day are history, though I don’t have a cell or Facebook!
Worse, though, it’s so tragic to see how students (especially at university) don’t even know how to achieve the level of unplugged focus on their studies that they need to succeed, and can’t fathom uninterrupted hours of study time. And to explain it to them is difficult as they just think “well, that’s life nowadays” and do not realize how they are handicapping themselves by having one eye on facebook, another on twitter and email while texting, and really thinking they are “studying” because they write an equation while actually focused on all this other stuff.
Reading about the state of “flow” in high achievers in the book “Emotional Intelligence” right now, and wondering how many people are preventing themselves from ever being able to work at that level.
I think what you did is the best thing anyone can do to improve his/her quality of life these days.
11/04/2012 at 10:20 pm
Thank you very much. I have definitely witnessed the effects being connected can have on a student. While I am lucky my own grades did not slip, I was teetering the line and have come very close. I have witnessed how connected others can be. In class it can be virtually impossible to get people off their cell phones. Now that I am in online classes, it can be so easy to venture away and end up somewhere not school related. The change has been good all around.
11/05/2012 at 1:22 pm
I really admire your discipline.
10/31/2012 at 6:16 am
wow, way to go unplugging your life. it actually allows you to have more free time. i for one dont own any accounts other than my email. i think you did a great thing getting off those sites.
11/04/2012 at 10:21 pm
Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 6:32 am
Love that people are able to make this choice! I read more and more blog posts/ news articles about people pulling away from social media. I think this is a good trend and it’s important to have a wide range of “socially acceptable” behaviors in regard to the internet. Have fun with your free time!
11/04/2012 at 10:22 pm
thank you……I am planning on and having a wonderful time. = )
10/31/2012 at 6:40 am
Great post! Congrats on the FP. I think your brave move will be an encouragement to a lot of people. And I do hope that “storm” is much calmer now. Blessings!
11/04/2012 at 10:22 pm
Thank you. The storm has become much calmer.
10/31/2012 at 6:43 am
Hi Angela, Just wanted to let you know I referred to your article in my blog about focus. It fit in so nicely. I enjoy your writing.
11/04/2012 at 10:23 pm
Why thank you. I greatly appreciate the share!
10/31/2012 at 6:45 am
haha such a tough thing to do! Shows a good mother though! Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!
11/04/2012 at 10:24 pm
Thank you for all of the wonderful compliments.
10/31/2012 at 6:56 am
Great post! Congratulations on being freshly pressed and on reclaiming your life!
11/04/2012 at 10:25 pm
Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 7:07 am
Love the cartoon with the Mad-Men type guys and the astronaut.
I’ve actually considered doing this — have gone so far as to have my email only check itself (!) every 2 hours instead of every 10 minutes.
I’ve even considered 24 hours a week where I don’t speak to anyone. Wondering if I could somehow turn off the voices in my head too (not crazy, ykwim).
11/04/2012 at 10:33 pm
Hehehe…..I have considered participating in one of those silent weekend retreats. I recently came across one at a local Yogananda Temple and am completely intrigued. However the idea of going 72 hours without saying a word seems freeing and impossible……I will write about the experience if I decide to do it.
thank you for the comments.
11/05/2012 at 4:53 am
Please do! I would love to try — although I have no idea whether it would be a profoundly spiritual experience or my head would explode. Probably not somewhere in between.
10/31/2012 at 7:32 am
Reblogged this on Jen Thoughts.
11/18/2012 at 9:12 pm
Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 7:39 am
First of all- thank you for sharing this, and I don’t mean that just because I cannot think of a better opening line.
Your choices to cut-off meaningless cyber-space “connections” is an example of how far this social media bull has charged into our personal lives, uprooted petty arguments, and worst of all- taught us to unlearn how to behave in public- rather vacuously feeding anorexic social skills. How many times do I see people sitting at a table, all screwing around on their phones? They would rather jack around on Facebook than be any sort of company in the real world. Seriously? Am I alone here in this observation?
As for the migraines. I can relate. I have taken measures to lesson these to only a few times a year, and for weaker migraines, I take ibuprofen at the on-set and I get into a quiet place.
11/04/2012 at 10:45 pm
Thank you for sharing! You are not the only who has endured the sight of people attempting to connect—whether on a date or just friends gathering—only to see phones in hand, texting, tweeting or checking in. It is amazing how social media has completely altered how we interact with one another. It seems to have increased the speed interaction to, “hello, I am so-and-so, are you on Facebook?” The looks I receive when I say no….well they alone are worth being offline.
11/05/2012 at 6:04 am
Social media feeds on our intrinsic, almost diabolical needs for instant attention. Almost as if we are cyber, intravenous drug users. I have an internet dating site profile up- It completely floors me that men who state in their profiles they are looking for long-term relationships include close-up’s of their muscles, fast cars, and bathroom shots.. I laugh when I get messages from them- I cannot take this unbalance seriously at all. It’s juvenile, and of course the grammar is atrocious. What’s also funny is that they will message twice if they don’t get a response- Completely ruling out that maybe I’m not interested?
10/31/2012 at 7:41 am
you are a brave soul! giving up pretty much the internet. I take care of my brother who is dealing with Parkinson’s. I am now full time at home, and through much prayer, i was led to start writing again. Since I also have diabetes, writing is more difficult than typing, so long story short, the internet and blogging!!!!
I hope all of your final test results come back with good news. You take care of yourself, enjoy life and live big.
Nice to meet you!
11/04/2012 at 10:52 pm
Thank you for posting and sharing. I wish you well on your writing. So far we are still in the unknown as it relates to tests, but I have been cleared of the large scary issues (very much a blessing). This situation has sparked my desire to write more as well. I am not sure if it was simply the intensity and flood of emotions as doctors searched for the worst possible outcomes, or if it was just the sheer realization of a possible life wasted. I am guessing it was the perfect mixture of the two. I am happy to have found life again, even though it was in somewhat of a messy situation. I wish you the best and it was nice meeting you as well.
10/31/2012 at 7:52 am
First off, congrats on being Freshly Pressed! And secondly, congrats on trying and succeeding in disconnecting yourself from social media. I have to admit, I have flirted with the idea but have never pulled the plug. I have taken breaks and occasionally a week will go by where I have not even glanced at Facebook… and I find that I didn’t miss it all that much. Thanks for sharing a bit of your personal journey here with us!
11/04/2012 at 10:53 pm
Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 7:56 am
Funny, I wrote a post about noise today. How we fill our lives with so many things to avoid silence and that we are damaging relationships.
I hope all works out for you health wise and think that more of us should take note of the effects of social media
11/04/2012 at 10:54 pm
Thank you, I will have to check out your post.
10/31/2012 at 7:56 am
First of all I would like to say that I enjoyed reading your personal experience: “the dark side of social media”. However, although technology is consuming our lives cause as another blogger said here it’s difficult to draw the line between useful time in social media and wasted time, I believe it’s all about balance. You enjoy being on the phone, fine but don’t do it while you’re spending some time with beloved ones or friends – it’s also about respect. You love tweeting? Then do it, but if you paid to be watching a show, then maybe you should enjoy yourself first before sharing it with the world. Mere examples I know, but for me the word is ‘balance’. Nonetheless, I admire your decision: when I’m in holidays I don’t even care for my mobile and God, it feels damn good!
11/04/2012 at 11:06 pm
Thank you.
10/31/2012 at 8:34 am
Hello Angela, you right so well. i enjoyed every bit. thanks!
11/04/2012 at 11:07 pm
Thank you!
11/05/2012 at 5:04 am
you’re welcome!
10/31/2012 at 9:14 am
Hey. Nice post. Connected myself with it. Also I would like to add that it is not that difficult to disconnect from social media, especially from facebook which is really addictive. Even I stopped using it from last month or so. Also started going invisible in chats. It doesn’t bother much if you find yourself indulging in some creative work. I have found blogging as my new interest. Also I started playing my guitar back! (semi)Disconnecting does helps!
11/04/2012 at 11:18 pm
Thank you for your response. It is great to hear the stories of others who have “disconnected” and found peace within it. My spare time has provided more opportunity to write and focus on the important aspects of my life—mainly family. It is great that you were able to find more time for writing and playing the guitar…..best of luck with all your new endeavors.
11/05/2012 at 5:00 am
same to you!
10/31/2012 at 9:42 am
Fantastic post. Congrats on being Freshly pressed – the problem is it’s made you so popular that it’s taking your time reading comments; sometimes you just can’t win.
I see where you’re coming from and if I’m going to finish my novel I need to give that more time and less commenting on WordPress! Your post is a prod in the ribs to many of us.
11/04/2012 at 11:31 pm
Thank you! You are completely correct on the disconnection creating a completely new connection…lol. It seems I have given up one addiction for another. Although this one is a tad bit more constructive than being irritated at the façade of Facebook.
I wish you the best of luck on finishing your novel.
10/31/2012 at 9:57 am
I’ve been contemplating doing the EXACT same thing! Liberating I’m sure…
11/04/2012 at 11:35 pm
It has been extremely liberating….best of luck to you!
10/31/2012 at 10:31 am
Way to go! social media should be just a tool at our disposal, not something that runs our lives.
11/04/2012 at 11:37 pm
Exactly. Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 10:48 am
Wow, you definitely have a lot of online subscriptions and social media sites. I would get a headache if I have just as much. I just have my Facebook, instant messengers and recently, my wordpress. I wouldn’t gave up FB though… I some of my relatives and friends are abroad and it’s a great way to connect.
I guess the trick is try not to be dependent on it and don’t make it waaay to personal. If someone is flooding the newsfeed, well, there’s a nifty trick called hide notifications. When I think about it, I do have other subscriptions but I’m not always online so I guess it works for me.
Another trick to keeping life simple? Use a simple phone. This is my phone: http://www.fonearena.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/nokia-1280_black.png?9d7bd4
Good luck!
10/31/2012 at 10:51 am
Hiking and sleeping in the mountains where there is no cell reception works too!
11/18/2012 at 9:19 pm
Agreed!! I try to both as frequently as possible. This last summer was the first time in years I was not camping or hiking at least 2 weekends a month.
10/31/2012 at 11:26 am
You are absolutely right… these things are actually making us retards ! we have become robots with hearts ! Nice post and by the way i loved your profile
11/18/2012 at 9:19 pm
Thank you!
10/31/2012 at 12:38 pm
Life can be very hectic depending how much stress we allow into our lives. Last December I was diagnosed with cancer and went through major surgery with removal of part of my tongue and a neck disectemy (removal of cancer in my neck).
This experience was very stressful, but I was able to get through it without chemo or radiation.
Just saw my doctor for my last checkup and he said I don’t have to see him for another 6 months.
I am thankful for prayers of others and being able to pray to God for help. It’s been a real blessing in my life!
11/18/2012 at 9:42 pm
I think it is amazing that you were able to manage without chemo. My mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer about two years ago and it was difficult to watch someone who you love go through chemo. Even though I know it was for the best, it is still scary. Her mastectomy was difficult as well, but she ended up feeling much better after that surgery. She has been in the clear for about 6 months.
I am extremely happy you do not have to see your doctor for another 6 months. Thank you for sharing.
10/31/2012 at 12:50 pm
Ohhhhhh my! I feel the stress of withdrawl just thinking about making such a move. I don’t think I’m as crazy as some, but I KNOW that I’m an information/social junkie…
I’ll be pondering this for the next few weeks.
Thanks…I think?
10/31/2012 at 1:37 pm
Reblogged this on ultraterrestrial and commented:
excellent blog!
10/31/2012 at 1:41 pm
balance in all things, sooo hard these days! very well written!
10/31/2012 at 2:29 pm
I hear what your saying about disconnecting from social media and gaining so much more as a result. At the company I work for http://www.playgroundentertainmentgroup.com we are using social media and video games to teach children the fundamentals of movement and keep them in the game longer, as most kids drop out of sports in later years. Our paradoxical aim is to use social media to get kids away from the tv and computer and outside being active.
10/31/2012 at 5:12 pm
I did something similar for a month. Each day I took something away and replaced it with something old school (I blogged about it, so maybe that’s cheating!). It really was enlightening how much you can learn. However in the 3 months since I have found myself returning. Reading your post reminded me… perhaps its time to reconnect by disconnecting some areas again. Thanks
10/31/2012 at 6:40 pm
This has definitely hit home with me I to spend to much time on this thing time to cut back! thanks
10/31/2012 at 6:41 pm
Reblogged this on savedollarblog.
11/18/2012 at 9:37 pm
Thank you!
11/01/2012 at 12:40 am
I’ve never gotten into face book, twitter, for a lot of the same reasons you just discussed, but also personal experience. I had a friend who, when we hung out, would always answer his phone instantly and go on and on and on, even though I’m idling away and quite bored. It’s one of most frustrating obstacles to normal, face-to-face socialization and I never, ever want to be that rude.
Ultimately, I realized that the compulsion the answer that phone, to monitor a face-book page, or respond to a tweet was driven by one force: public image. My friend was more concerned about how he appeared to friends than how he treated them, and I believe that’s what drives social-media addiction: an obsession with how the public world sees him/her.
Quite an article/post, and I enjoyed reading it!
11/18/2012 at 9:36 pm
Thank you. I would agree with your statement about the concern with appearance. This is what occurred with me. I found myself getting into completely passive aggressive disputes and I was envious of others false sense of happiness. I wanted so bad to be apart of something. In the end I realized I was closer to nothing than I was when I started.
Still have not gone back. It is funny because I have rekindled some amazing friendships and have had more fun in the last month than I have chasing FB friends over the last year.
11/01/2012 at 1:15 pm
Ah, a fellow social-media escapee! Thanks for a great post. I’m totally onboard with you and though I haven’t officially closed down my Facebook or Twitter accounts, I am on my second hiatus, which I wrote about on my blog recently (http://inspiredfool.com/2012/10/02/why-im-breaking-up-with-facebook-again/). It really is amazing how much more time–specifically, quality time–getting off social media opens up. I had the same experience as you in terms of worrying beforehand about whether I’d lose contact with people, only to discover that the truly important people always rise to the surface, regardless of whether you’re checking Facebook or not. It’s so very encouraging to hear of more and more people choosing to disconnect. We’ll all be better off for it!
11/18/2012 at 9:31 pm
Thank you and thank you for sharing your blog post.
11/01/2012 at 5:34 pm
Wow I’m pretty inspired by you! I don’t think I could even muster the courage to delete almost all of my social networking sites! You are truly an eye-opener as you were able to get away from social media AFTER starting it! It’s much better than those who don’t even start at all!
As for me, I only managed to delete my twitter and instagram applications on my phone only during the examination period. Like I said before, I doubt I could ever delete them literally.
Thank you for sharing!
11/01/2012 at 6:33 pm
June I disconnected because my husband and I separated and he put so much onto these sites. It was a false sense he had and it weakened me. Once I left I had clarity and I have moved on. But it’s crazy how we feel connected but we are really disconnected
11/01/2012 at 9:21 pm
I enjoyed and appreciate your blog! I do hope your daughter gets well better and your headaches are gone for good! I plan to let my husband and son read your blog…I’m hoping we all 3 spend more time connected with one another instead of the cyber world!;)
Thank you for sharing!
11/18/2012 at 9:29 pm
Thank you. Everyone is now doing much better. They have figured out the reason behind my headaches and my daughter has completely recovered. I am extremely excited to be going into the holiday season without the stresses.
I love your idea of bringing your family into the blog world with you. My husband has not jumped on the blog bandwagon, but he does edit my posts and aid in suggestions for design, etc. My oldest has written a couple posts of her own, I would like her to do more, but she is nervous about it.
Thanks again.
11/09/2012 at 9:35 pm
A couple years ago I got rid of my Facebook account. I found it was beginning to affect my self esteem and made me very anxious. I guess it had to do with reading people’s posts and seeing their “exciting” lives. I suppose in my head I felt I didn’t compare. The rational me knows that is not true but I refuse to go back on it and feel much better about myself. And it is true, by stopping those emails by groupon etc, I save myself a few minutes and no longer feel bombarded by advertising. I feel much more liberated.