Boredom has officially taken its toll on my already waning sanity. I truly believe if I have to be quarantined and resting for one more day I might end up institutionalized for my own safety. To be completely honest I am not a huge fan of resting, or isolation for that matter. I am going out on a limb here, but I am quite certain I could survive off 4-5 hours of sleep per night and maintain a constant state of movement the other 19-20 hours a day. However in order for this to be realized it would require all children (some adults) to keep their cooties to themselves. It would also be extremely helpful if scientists discovered a new gene which stopped the internal aging process dead in its tracks, right around 25 years old, thus allowing said person to have a wonderful immune system and highly functioning metabolism all of their life—of course it would be mandatory that I possess this gene.
Reality check: neither of the above scenarios can be actualized. I am in fact an average human being with no amazing genetic mutations—unless you count my eccentricity. I have yet to stop children and many adults* from sharing their various diseases—causing illnesses that lead to hospitalization and/or death (according to WebMD).
Take my current state for example:
Exhibit A: Five year old participant enters contamination area (kindergarten) on Wednesday, September 4th. On Friday, September 6th, participant has contracted a common cold with symptoms including: coughing, congestion, and increased orneriness and rebellion. No other symptoms are revealed throughout the course of the cold, fatigue and lethargy are not even remotely resembled. In fact the participant appears to have an opposite reaction, leading to an increase in energy levels and excitability. On Monday, September 9th the participant returns to ground zero and continues receiving her education with a mild cough.
Exhibit B: Thirty-two year old participant contracts disease via droplet transmission on Saturday, September 7th at roughly 3 AM. Transmission occurred when Exhibit A coughed directly into the second participants face various times while sleeping. On Monday, September 9th, participant has developed symptoms rendering her useless and immobile, they include: fever, congestion, dry/hoarse painful cough, coughing fits upon any movement, headaches, and achiness resulting in feelings of disgust. Participant is unable to work for two-days, has trouble showering without coughing, and has become the storage space for over the counter medications from Target.
While the five-year old continues to have a happy healthy childhood, it is possible I have developed an array of diseases, such as: bronchitis, influenza, mononucleosis, strep throat, acute sinusitis, SARS, and/or meningitis (if the headaches and muscle aches are factored into the equation). It is conceivable that too much WebMD can lead to the onset melodramatic behavior, but one should always remain open-minded when attempting to properly, and accurately self-diagnose.
At the end of the day, whether I have contracted an obscure disease or I have a common cold, I am still in state of forced relaxation. As each minute passes I am reminded of my inability to accomplish even the most mundane tasks, resulting in my desire to complete those which I detest—like washing dishes and scrubbing floors. What I would like to do is go to the gym, or walk my crazy pugs around the block. I might even subject myself to the mall, if I was able to operate heavy machinery.
In the end, not a single one of these is an option. Instead I shall lie around like a lazy cat— that happens to watch Law & Order SVU reruns with tissue stuffed up their nose while simultaneously writing insane posts and reminiscing on adolescent invincibility. Even though I am forced to hang up my superhero cloak, the one which shielded from even the worst of hangovers and viral infections. At least I am still alive, and have internet and a warm blanket. Albeit a contaminated blanket which just so happens to be a gift from my disease ridden children.